I hate when people give me insecurities. I guess that is the right wording? I don't know. I was talking to a new friend this evening. We play on a sport team together and just started playing. Anyways, we've been learning a lot about each other lately (not in a romantic/intimate way, at all.....more like a brother/sister kinda way). Anyways, he was a little surprised to hear that I was only with Mr. W for about 3 months before he was deployed and that I am waiting for him and that we are serious about each other. He (the new friend) said something about how I am young and shouldn't be rushed into anything or something along those lines. There were facial expressions that he made to go along with the conversation that make me insecure. How I see it, and what I think, is that he (the new friend) got married at a young age, and he openly admitted to me that he would probably not be with his wife if it weren't for their two children....I think that makes him think that I am "too young" and what have you. How I see it is....if you know, you just know. There is nothing to explain what there is between me and Mr. W. It is an unspeakable connection. Or is it? Am I just young and naive? Granted Mr. W is a bit older than I am. I honestly believe that he cares for me as much as I do him and that this is the real thing. There are those nasty little voices and thoughts that do pop in from time to time and question it. "Is he still going to want me when he gets back?" or "Will he want to change his mind and decide to do his own thing?" What if I am no longer a priority in Mr. W's life. What if I was just a convience at the time? Then I have been sitting here waiting around for how long for what? I guess that is the way love goes though, isn't it? It is about risks that are taken, or not taken. It is about giving and it is about taking. I am giving my absolute all waiting for Mr. W here, patiently. And that is a huge risk. A risk I chose to take and I am 110% confident in that decision. I feel in my heart that Mr. W is "the one". If I didn't take a risk on that, I'd be crazy! He is so amazing and wonderful in so many ways. Sometimes I feel like God made him just for me and yes, other's have had him, but they are who have helped mold him into what he is now. And I thank them for that....as long as they don't want him back. Hahaha. I'm pretty sure I'd put up one huge fight for him. HUGE! Anyways, I do believe this is enough rambling for one night. I need to get some shut-eye.

Until next time.....

*StarShine*

Marriage.

What is it? When is it the right time? Is he "the one"? Is it really forever? Does he feel the same way that I do? Is it for me?

All these things seem to be wandering in and out of my mind lately. I am not sure why. I have not gotten any offers, nor have I been looking for one. Marriage is just one of those things that have been on my mind a lot lately. I guess that is just part of growing up, growing older. What is marriage really about though? It seems that a lot of people take it for granted these days. "Oh well, we can always get a divorce." I don't think so. What about those of us who still believe in happily ever after? Yes, it takes work. Yes, it takes time and commitment and sacrifice. But that's what comes with the territory. Great thinngs in life are not just handed to you on a silver platter. You would never learn to appreciate it if it was like that. It would be taken for granted.

 I come from a "broken hone". Who hasn't these days? The same year, when I was 11, not only did my parents get a divorce, but my grandparents, whom were married for 36 years, also got a divorce. Not to mention, that almost all of my uncles have also been there and done that. What kind of hope does that leave someone like me...or like you? I think that is can lead me to believe that I can learn from their mistakes. I can learn what NOT to do. I just happened to be one of those hopeless romantics that thinks that there is a soul-mate out there for me. (Which I know, soul-mates are a whole nother topic.) I believe that with that time, commitment, effor...with that work, a marriage can make it and it can last.

Hello world of bloggers!!

This is my first time blogging....ever! So, bear with me. I don't really have time or effort to put forth too much effort into this blog, so forgive me? However, there is this amazing song that I have been obsessed with for the past few days and I thought I would at least share that with you! =)

"Crazy About You" --Whiskeytown

Trust is a weird thing
Make you crazy
Make you jealous
Make you wish you hadn't said a thing

And I guess I have been mean
But I'm only second guessing you
Cause you won't even let me through

And I want to be happy
And I only want you
If you think that I'm crazy
I'm just crazy 'bout you
Crazy 'bout you

And love is a wonderful thing
Make you wanna
Make you need to
Make you wish you hadn't said a thing

Baby I have been mean
But I'm only second guessing you
Cause you won't even let me through

And I want to be happy
And I only want you
If you think that I'm crazy
I'm just crazy 'bout you
Crazy 'bout you

Baby I want you
Honey I need you
I know you want to
I can feel you

And I want to be happy
And I only want you
If you think that I'm crazy
I'm just crazy 'bout you
Crazy 'bout you

There really aren't too many versus to this song, but I really love what it says. It is everything that I have been feeling the past week or so. Crazy how a song can sum up so much. I guess that is what makes music so great. Anyways, look it up, give it a listen! Thanks for stopping by!

Until next time......

Your *StarShine*